I must admit being a teacher is one of the most difficult jobs today. But in the secondary level I have seen, have heard about and have been taught also by some weird teachers. And what I have noticed is that these guys have their own pre-planned escape routes if their present knowledge is not good enough to answer a doubt.

Q:Sir, I have a doubt in Q3.

Here are some unique situations:

1.The teacher stares hard at the question and finally is enlightened to the fact that he is not enlightened enough to enlighten the student and lightens himself of the book.

And looks around the class and starts a lecture like this :

“You students will study…. Before asking such questions you all must realise whether you deserve to know the answer, whether you are capable to know the answer. Just ask yourselves that… The answer will obviously be NO. It is all the fault of …”

The student was thinking that it must be the fault of sir himself as it is he who taught. But it is the fault of..

“..Co-education. Make pairs and sit in classroom. How can you all concentrate in such a situation. End up in cyber-cafes God knows doing what. Sit in front of TV…”

And the lecture ends with the bell and the doubt still remains.

2.”Ram will answer the question. He is my favourite student and I know I have given him enough training to be able to answer the question.So Ram..”

Two cases:

(1) If Ram is present he solves the question most of the time and if he is not able to he is at the receiving end and poor chap he is also thrown out of the class.

(2)If Ram is absent then sir expresses his sadness and tells that he is really sad that the only kid who makes his teaching an enjoyable experience is absent and in that ocean of despondency the doubt is drowned.

3. “Stupid very stupid. I must say last year’s teachers were so lineant upon you. Do this one first and show me.”

And he starts off with elementary examples that are easy to solve.

4.”See…my friends Newton had a similar story…” Saying so hhe narrates a story which I think he must have mugged up from 101 Great Lives and ensures the expansion of the story is long enough and interesting enough for the doubt to be cleared off the kiddo’s mind.

5.(And the most-cliched trick teachers all around India use and this had happened with me in school.)

“It is not in the syllabus”

“Ma’m, but you only had told to underline and I have a doubt nevertheless…”

“I can explain it to you but I don’t think the class will understand.”

I was expecting others in the class to retaliate this thinly-veiled insult but no one did.

I insisted,”OK Ma’m I will come to the staff-room in the break to understand.”

And next we have an absconding teacher who when caught gives you a book from a senior class to be read that has no relevance with the topic in hand.

That is the way things work around here.


5 thoughts on “ESCAPE ROUTES of TEACHERS

  1. i would like to share something with u too. there was this physics teacher, and one of my class mates gave him a kinematics problem involving trigonometry, projectiles, and the like … he stared hard at it for a long time, and picked up a piece of chalk, and drew a treajectory on the board, a typical projectile trajectory, and then wrote down the equations of motion which he had taught a day back … instead of solving, he derived the equations again, and we all waited patiently, stiffling our laughter… after every equation had been derived, and re derived, we asked him again about the sum … he cleaned the board and drew the same picture again, and suddenly sat down, and clasped his forehead. Guess what he said? "I am feeling very ill now, I need to leave the class"… next day, he came to class and copied out the solution from his diary, which he had obtained from another teacher…

  2. @Subhayandat must hv been so odd for u… even once it happened with me… this teacher told that if you make a jar containing gas upside down all the gas would come down and accumulate at the bottom as it was a fluid just like liquids….none of us could control our laughter and he had to leave of his own accord

  3. Woah…what you write is so true. It's a reality that many people do not care to admit. Glad that you have expressed it. But there are awesome teachers who reply to almost any question you give them. I just love them…they got talent.

  4. @graffitimyhrteven i hv had teachers who have left me mesmerized and wanting for more as u said they have talent and almost make teaching an art

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